Paying Attention Again

Lately, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about who I am — not in the most philosophical way, but in terms of what I like, what I don’t like, what I used to enjoy doing, and what I no longer do. I used to shop a lot and put more thought into what I wore and how I presented myself. I used to go out and explore the city on my own, taking in each experience as it came to me. As I grow older and make compromises in dealing with life, I feel as though I’ve lost a bit of myself. Not that I’ve completely let go, but I find I have little energy for much outside of my regular routine.

Being more budget conscious is surely part of it. This isn’t a bad thing, especially when trying to afford living in the city. It’s important to be smart with money. But I’ve started to put pressure on everything pleasure-related that I spend money on. If I’m spending money on something for pleasure, it needs to have maximal impact and be worth it. This kind of thinking has made me hesitant to make decisions that are meant to be lighthearted and fun.

I want this to be a place where I can explore and note what I like and don’t like, and what I pay attention to. By no means is this meant to be a guide or a set of recommendations for others to follow.

This could be where I write about fashion trends and styles I’m into, or the coffee shop or bakery I’ve been wanting to visit. Sometimes it could be about self-care that I’m trying to get into (and hopefully stick with).

I don’t expect everything here to be definitive. Tastes and minds can shift. So can I.

I’m looking to be more intentional with the things I do and the decisions I make. Not focusing on the perfect experience or outcome, just exploring and learning to enjoy the journey again.